Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
