and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I think I am morally bankrupt
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
