I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
handjob tips. give me some.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
