Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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