so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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