so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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