Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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