I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
