We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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