gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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