physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
