good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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