Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
