Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
