He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
