dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
