so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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