KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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