This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
