capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
