butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
