Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
