i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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