I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
this just has baby written all over it
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
