): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize