yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
