once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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