so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
