I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
