you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
