i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
