I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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