tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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