Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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