My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
