Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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