I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
