why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
