Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
honey bunches of taint.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
