Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
