IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
