State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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