will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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