right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
