we have pet lesbian snakes
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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