Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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