Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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