What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
