Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.

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(850): View more from Florida

I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.

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(303): View more from Colorado

How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend

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(317): View more from Indiana

well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.

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(817): View more from Texas

We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.

Fav 4 616 162
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(313): View more from Michigan

Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?

(705): View more from Ontario

Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep

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