we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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