I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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