Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You can't motorboat a personality
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Four minutes until I can fart!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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