oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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