don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
