We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
