I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
