He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
