Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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