Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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