Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
