I wannas sexs uuuuu
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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