I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
