She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
