we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Boobs are out for the taking
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
